Why is it Forbidden to get Married During the Three Weeks?

 

Question: The Gemara in Berachot (6b) says: "One who brings joy to the bride and groom is as if he rebuilts the ruins of Yerushalayim".  If so, why it is forbidden to get married during the Three Weeks, since we would be rebuilding Yerushalayim?

Answer: Ha-Rav Avigdor Nevenzal, Rav of the Old City, wrote me: "The Gemara in Shabbat (105b) says that anyone who gets angry is as if he worships Avodah Zarah.  Nevertheless, we do not stone one who gets angry", meaning that it is "as if".

Ha-Rav Shlomo Aviner, Nasi Yeshivat Ateret Yerushalayim, told me: "See the Gemara in Baba Batra (60b) that after the destruction of the Temple, it would have been proper not to get married, but this was rejected because then the seed of Avraham would have died out.  It is therefore at least appropriate not to get married during the Three Weeks".

Ha-Rav Yitzchak Zilberstein answered based on the explanation of the Chatam Sofer (Derush to 7^th of Av 5499) on the verse: "Hashem builds Yerushalayim, He will gather the outcasts of Israel" (Tehilim 147:2).  He asks: Why does it say that Hashem "builds" Yerushalayim in the present tense instead of in the future tense as in "will gather"?

The Chatam Sofer answers that our Sages say that the Third Temple will descend in fire from Heaven already built (there is a dispute whether will we will build the Temple or it will descend from Heaven – M.T.), and it is built each and every year, by the crying and mourning of the Jewish People over its destruction.  It therefore says that Hashem "builds" Yerushalayim in the present tense, since He is constantly building it.

This is similar to the words of the Shelah (Ta'anit Ot #33) that there is therefore no mourning on Shabbat, since the mourning builds Yerushalayim, and the building of the Beit Ha-Mikdash does not supercede Shabbat.

Based on this, it is clear why there are no weddings during this time, since the mourning during the Three Weeks builds Yerushalayim even more than weddings do (brought in "Vavei Ha-Amudim Ve-Chishukeihem" of Rav Zilberstein, Gilyon #46, p. 115).