What is the Connection Between a Wedding and Yerushalayim?

 

Why is a wedding so joyous?  Why do the Sages say that "One who brings joy to the bride and groom is as one who rebuilt the ruins of Yerushalayim" (Berachot 6b)?

The Nesivot Shalom, the late Slonimer Rebbe ztz"l, shares an idea:

Joy is rooted in the "world of building" and through it both physical and spiritual building are successful.  Sadness is connected with the "world of destruction".

Joy has a powerful influence on the Chatan and Kalla at the opening of their marriage when they are building their home.  The intense joy of their wedding brings them into the world of building, to build a house of holiness and purity.

This is called building one of the ruins of Yerushalayim. for Yerushalayim was called "the joy of the earth" (Tehillim 48).  The Medrash (Shemot Rabba, end of Shemot) tells us that no sadness entered Yerushalayim.  There was a special place right outside Yerushalayim called the "Dome of Calculations" where people would go to make calculations — so that they should not come to sadness in Yerushalayim, "the joy of the earth," and harm its lofty level.

 

Why Can a Husband or Wife Can Force a Spouse to Move to Yerushalayim?

 Ha-Rav Shlomo Aviner, Nasi of Ateret Yerushalayim, once explained:

The Mishnah states: "A man or woman can force a spouse to move to Yerushalayim", such is the ruling when one spouse wants to live in Yerushalayim.  He or she has the upper hand, i.e. if the husband does not want to move there and they divorce, he must pay the Ketubah, and if the wife does not want to move there and they divorce, she is not paid the Ketubah (Ketubot 110b).  Yerushalayim is superior to all else, not in the sense of aloofness and arrogance, but in the sense of being the spiritual pinnacle of Eretz Yisrael.

But we can ask: We’ve heard over and over again about the Mitzvah of settling the Land, but where in the Torah is there a Mitzvah of settling Yerushalayim?  Answer: True, there is no special Mitzvah of settling Yerushalayim per se, but since it is the spiritual pinnacle of the entire land, the Mitzvah of settling the Land is all the more so fulfilled here.  David Ha-Melech states, “Hashem loves the gates of Zion more than all the dwellings of Yaakov” (Tehillim 87:2).  Obviously, this is referring to all of Yerushalayim, including the new neighborhoods of West Jerusalem.  Yet it is clear that the main thing is the Old City, Yerushalayim between the walls.

Perhaps this is the source of what I heard that one of the great sages of our generation, Ha-Gaon Ha-Rav Ahron Soloveitchik, was once asked: if a philanthropist wanted to donate a hundred million dollars to Torah institutions and he left the decision to you, where would you recommend?  He responded: To build Yerushalayim within the walls (from Ha-Rav Yaakov Marcus).

Changing the Prayer Nachem on Tisha Be-Av

 

One of the additions in our prayers on Tisha Be-Av is the inclusion of Nachem into the Shemoneh Esrei into the prayer which requests the rebuilding of Yerushalayim. The addition includes, "Hashem, our God, console the mourners of Zion and the mourners of Yerushalayim, and the city that is mournful, ruined, scorned and desolate...And she sits with her head covered like a barren woman without children..." Nachem is recited by Sefardim during all of Tisha Be-Av, and by Ashkenazim only during Minchah (Shulhan Aruch and Rama, Orach Chaim 557:1). After the incredible conquest of Yerushalayim and the Temple Mount by Tzahal during the Six-Day War, many people asked whether it was appropriate to recite the prayer Nachem in its current form which refers to Yerushalayim as "the city that is mournful, ruined, scorned and desolate"?  This issue revolves around the questions of whether Nachem is discussing the status of the Temple or the entire city of Yerushalayim. And if it refers to the entire city of Yerushalayim, is it the physical status or the spiritual as well?

While a few Rabbis wanted to change and update the traditional wording of Nachem, claiming that the wording no longer applies, the majority of authorities strongly disagree with altering the text of Nachem and argue that the sentiment expressed in this prayer is still applicable.

In Sefer Nefesh Ha-Rav (p. 79), Rav Ha-Herschel Schachter relates that when it was publicized after the Six-Day War that one rabbi wrote that it was proper to change the wording of Nachem, Ha-Rav Yosef Dov Soloveitchik told his students that there was no need to alter the prayer because as long as the Beit Ha-Mikdash is not built on the Temple Mount, the entire city of Yerushalayim is in a state of mourning and destruction.

Ha-Rav Ovadiah Yosef, former Chief Sefardic Rabbi of Israel, also argues against making any changes to Nachem (Shut Yehaveh Daat 1:43 and also in Yalkut Yosef 558:2). Rav Ovadiah first mentioned that the prayer Nachem, which we received as a tradition over many generations, was established by the greatest authorities, the Men of the Great Assembly during the Second Temple Period. And who is capable in this generation to courageously step forward and "fix" the accepted version!? He explains that if one looks at the holy city of Yerushalayim, in many ways it is still "mournful, ruined, scorned and desolate." The Temple Mount is still in the hands of non-Jews, who are enemies of Israel, the Old City of Yerushalayim is filled with places of idol worship, whose religions have sanctioned murdering Jews for generations, surrounding the Temple Mount are Muslim graves, Jews are halakhicly forbidden to enter the Temple Mount because we are ritually impure and the Arabs actually bring corpses up to our holiest place before they are buried. Rav Ovadiah also writes that there are still shuls which were destroyed by the Jordanians in the Old City (today, most, if not all, have been rebuilt). In the city of Yerushalayim itself (largely in the New City of Yerushalayim), there are many people who are not committed to Torah and Mitzvot, children who do not receive a Torah education, licentiousness, desecration of Shabbat and violations of Kashrut. Thus, he concludes, there is absolutely no reason to change Nachem, especially since the Yerushalayim Talmud (Yoma 1:1) states, "Any generation in which the Temple is not rebuilt it is as if it has been destroyed."

Immediately after the Six-Day War, Ha-Rav Shlomo Aviner, Nasi Yeshiva of Ateret Yerushalayim, asked Ha-Rav Tzvi Yehudah Ha-Kohain Kook, Rosh Yeshiva of Mercaz Ha-Rav and one who saw the liberation of Yerushalayim and the Temple Mount as a giant step in the unfolding redemption, whether Nachem should be changed. Rav Tzvi Yehudah answered, "Yerushalayim is still scorned and desolate, since the essence of Yerushalayim is the Beit Ha-Mikdash" (Sefer Le-Mikdasheikh Tuv p. 11 #1).

And when Rav Aviner is asked: Hasn't the time come to change the wording of "Nachem" which describes Yerushalayim the destroyed, shamed and desolate city?  He replies: Please come and visit our Yeshiva "Ateret Yerushalayim" which is located in the heart of the Old City of Jerusalem, in the so-called "Muslim Quarter," and you will be convinced on the spot to leave it as is.